The Unlocking Of An ACTUAL Conspiracy

I was wrong, pure and simple. Here I was decrying the AGW deniers for their conspiracy-like ravings against anthropogenic climate change. That tens of thousands of scientists were all working together to promote a radical leftist agenda by silencing deniers, deleting contradicting data, colluding together and putting up a non-existent threat in order to serve their political agenda. I used to laugh at those creationist-like devotees of what looked like one big appeal to consequences...

That was until Climategate.

Unlike all other gates; watergate, crackergate, utegate, or the rusty squeaking gate at grandma's house, this gate was real... and it's implications startling! They were right, there was a conspiracy. The leaked emails prove everything that has ever been said about those ideologues in the IPCC and that evangelical arsehole Al Gore. And worst of all I knew it.

I knew it and I let my credulity get the better of me. My inner sceptic was saying "noooooooo" in a Cartmanesque fade to oblivion, but I didn't listen. I trusted science. pfft, I'm not doing that again. For a long time now they've been telling us that we are nothing but glorified monkeys, that we are just matter, and that we really don't matter because matter is just energy condensed. No more of that! Now that the tree ring data and temperature data don't overlap, we can't trust anything any more.

Yet I've brought this on myself before. I remember when I used to believe that man walked on the moon. I truly believed it. But one man had the courage to say something about it, and that conspirator Buzz Aldrin just punched him in the face! If he had nothing to hide, he would have produced the moon cheese that NASA would have found had they really gone to the moon.

And there was that whole period where I attributed alien abductions to hallucinations and false memories - culture infesting the consciousness and causing the sense of patternicity we all share to interpret strange experiences as out of this world. I even attributed my own experiences of sleep paralysis to natural causes. But then why do government reports of UFOs have so much blacked out? What are they trying to protect? I'm fearful for the human / alien hybrid invasion of 2012.

But back to the issue at hand. This is just the tip of the iceberg, which by the way did NOT break from a warming Arctic. There is now evidence of direct conspiracy to stop the free market. Why can't a mining company pollute the streams if it gets us a fuel source? The environmental implications of pollution are overstated, and in any case to reduce toxic pollutants is going to cost jobs. Just as happened a few decades ago, and what did the laws to regulate pollutants do? It destroyed the economy and brought society to its knees. And for what? So those damn evolutionists could show natural selection on the peppered moth.

I'm thankful for those hackers who targeted private email of a few climate scientists, because there was always that gut feeling of guilt when I left my computer on when I wasn't using it, or that I spent too long in the shower. Now I don't need to worry at all. It's all a hoax, it's all a charade, and those emails are the smoking gun that show the level of deception and fraud perpetrated by the IPCC.


But as I write this, I feel my scepticism of my scepticism resurging. Maybe I'm making mountains out of molehills (how else do mountains form except for giant moles?) and that there's not enough in there to completely discount human-induced climate change. It could just be those emails show something minor, it could be that those emails fall within the bounds of the scientific process, and that the evidence still points to us having some effect on the environment.

But then I think to myself, what is more likely. That there are tens of thousands of climate scientists in on a conspiracy. That those who have spent the time and effort to study the climate, to see how human activity affects the environment and what factors there are in how our weather system works. Those who have measured the environment at different times, trying to find patterns, work out cycles, seeing what that will do to sea levels and rain over agricultural areas. That all these people are just faking the data to push a political agenda. Or that there really is grounds to consider that human activity is having some effect on the environment.

Really it should be obvious. As Bush jr. said: "Fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."